Starting Over After 50: Recent Comments

Comment on Calling All 50 Plus Readers - Your Experiences Needed

Sandy Davidson — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:30:05 GMT

Dear Lady in Blue,

So many of our military ladies and men who spent a good portion of their life serving our country encounter difficulty transitioning from military to civilian life. It sounds like you have had some added challenges. The loss of a child is very difficult to bear. It is so very important that you grab hold to whatever is positive in your life. Strive for elements of optimism. One way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal. Write down nightly three things you can be grateful for that day and why. This will help you focus on some positive.

The other suggestion I have for you is to go to www.authentichappines.com and take the VIA Strengths Survey, the long version not the short version. This will get you very in touch with your top strengths that you can call upon and use to meet your challenges head on.

Thirdly, use this blog as a sounding board, an online journal. Write about your challenges, thoughts and feelings.

I could set up an interactive online support network for those starting over after 50, or just for those transitioning from military to civilian life if you think either would be useful or beneficial to yourself or others.

Respectfully,
Sandy

Comment on Calling All 50 Plus Readers - Your Experiences Needed

Jalica — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:52:26 GMT

Dear Sandy! I was fishing through the web for ways to make life better..and Your site caught my attention! I am one who is over 50, faced death collapse of my family and so much more that life seems inevitable to begin again...I served in the military, A Guardsman coming from up North...To my surprise the strength, and faith I kept mustered all those years get me "ready and able" despite the immense adversity against sexism and racism...to top it off, the jealousy to be in a position that "others" thought they should have...I managed but the emotional pain, and wearing my heart for my children to survive the storm gave way when my child died...I do not know how to begin...Where I reside, I find no solace. no direction, and no support...How many of us are here...and those of us who have dedicated our lives to service to find we were never of advantage since we did not climb the ladder like many did...Much I could share, but I still hurt, I slight counseling, I sought refuge, I sought God for the answers to be of purpose....Yes, I have two children left...but the pain is also deep in them as well....Where can I begin to share with our audience the pain, dissolution, the burden that camaraderie lets go when you are without...I lost what kept me going...and what is left is a shell of what use to exist...not much as time passes...I thank God yes, and have learned that being a veteran and a widow, I have no regrets...It's finding out that nothing is permanent, nothing is barred in this society and subjectivity is the host of the world I see...I hope I can bring you into the ways in which I try under dire extremes to stand up against the charades I have encountered...Why Me! Pity or Empathy for the "Lady in Blue!"

Comment on Success and Age

Fe Florimon — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:27:26 GMT

This is not only a beautiful article, but also a truthful and inspiring article. I think success lies within us and sometimes might be revealed through our burning desire.

Comment on Mission Statement

Sandy Davidson — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:50:26 GMT

Celestine,
Writing is great therapy. I commend you for doing what you needed to do to free yourself of a bad situation. Peace of mind is priceless.
Your poem is now on the web!
Going forward I advise you to keep a gratitude journal. Write down something you are grafeful for and why each day. It will help you keep a positive outlook. Starting over is a struggle but not impossible. Set your eye on a goal and don't ever give up until you reach it.
Perhaps you would be interested in one of my coaching groups. www.newdirectionsbh.com You can attend the first session for free.

Comment on Mission Statement

Celestine — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:25:57 GMT

My favorite saying is Just Hold On. I tell myself that often. I have move away and starting over is a struggle. I am working back in customer service and my husband is hanging around. My book of poems is complete but when I let people read it they immediately think I seeking pity. My poems expresses the pain that I've been in for so many years. My poems tells about how I see others and how I think others see me. I work a lot of hours just to pay my rent but I can now sleep at night and not be afraid of being physcially hurt. I would love to share my favorite poem that I wrote that best describe me.

Lord I’m But A Ragged Doll
By: Celestine davis

I am but a Ragged Doll, Lord. All battered, bruised and beaten
Wanting to be Loved, when nothing else seem to matter. Mistreated by the one that took me in saying he will love me forever.
Lord, I am but a Ragged Doll stressed out from the worries of my every day trials.
Lord, I am but like a Ragged Doll, Weary, Ugly and Unseen.
My clothes are unmatched and worn.
My appearance is torn to the seam.
My voice is but a whisper in the crowd.
My soul aches from my misery as I CRY OUT LOUD.
My heart breaks from so much tragedy.
My body hurts from the abuse that I take.
My mind is housed by the verbal garbage that enters it every day.
Forgive me for my ugly ways & my ugly thoughts.
For, that’s all that I know from this world I’ve brought.
Lord I seek you – mend me new, make me whole, make me your Doll
And I know that I will be loved forever.
Show me how to Love You!
As I seek the way to Love Myself.
I’m told that you are the Lover of My Soul
I’m told that only YOU can make ME WHOLE.

You are never alone.

Comment on Mission Statement

sally — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 01:50:12 GMT

Please give yourself more credit. I am 59& am starting over after a 38 year marriage with almost nothing. Right now I am paying almost $500.00 a month to my ex & I am only paid 7.75 an hr.But I am going on because there is no other way out of the mess.Our family is in ruin. I don't get to see my grandchildren because our daughters have joined my husbands side of the divorce because he has the money . See your story isn't the only sad story. But if I can make it, anyone can

Comment on Mission Statement

Jane — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:29:01 GMT

Debi,

Get the best attorney you can. You won't be homeless. He owes you spousal support and at least half of everything you've had. If he's led you to believe you're going to be homeless, a good attorney will turn that on it's head. Get moving, girl! Don't be afraid of him. He should be afraid of you. Do it!

Jane

Comment on Mission Statement

Zorina — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:46:42 GMT

I awoke this morning with one thought: Find out how to get on with my life. As I browsed I came across this site and the one letter which really described my state was from Celestine. Till now, I thought it was just me.......As much as it distresses me to find that others are going through th same thing I'm relieved to find that I'm not alone; this gives me hope.

Please continue your research as you can't imagine how helpful it is just to know that it's not just me.

Comment on Mission Statement

Pete — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:41:00 GMT

I am a 55 years old graduating this year with my Associates degree and I never realized how much age discrimination exists in the job market until now. Although I am confident in my abilities and consider myself above average in the field I work in, I cannot seem to find an opportunity to become what I have worked so hard for all these years. It is frustrating to feel very talented and not be able to apply the skills you have. It is even more frustrating to observe other people with less skills be given an opportunity that I would cherish.

Comment on Mission Statement

Linda — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:39:14 GMT

Debi:

I've just found this site and hope that someone other than myself responded back to you. Are you alright? Going through something like this can leave you numb and tired. I know, I'm going through something very similar except my divorce has not gone thorugh yet. We are still together but it's like being in the house with a different person. Divorce, abandoment (physical or emotional) is like a death. The major difference is that you don't have the opportunity to have a funeral. The other party is alive and "doing well". Their life goes on as if they have done nothing wrong while you are left with all of these feelings.

I hope you have not taken any bad advice and tried to rush into a new relationship. This is really your time to heal and find out who you really are! While life can be scary, you do have everything you need to make it through.

I hope that someone has reached out to you to offer spiritual support because this is a major part of healing.

Yes, it is an uphill climb but take it one step at a time. I only ask God to help me get through one day at a time.

And finally, Debi, don't be too hard on yourself. You were faithful and loving to your husband all of those years, believe me it is his lost.